Have you even wondered why people can love fall in love deeply and the next moment lost the feeling for one another completely. “No more feelings” or “cannot feel anything”.
As you felt in love, have you lost yourself, or the relationship that you are in is just casing a lot of unhappiness to your surrounding people?
Personally, I feel that people fall out of relationship mainly due to:
01. Change in life values
02. Misunderstanding of intention. (people usually see behavior but not intention)
03. Lack of commitment
04. Ineffective communication
05. Lack of self understanding and awareness
So what is love all about and what is your ideal love?
According to Sternberg’s Theory ….
Liking = intimacy alone
Infatuation = passion alone
Empty = commitment alone
Romantic love = passion + intimacy
Fatuous = passion + commitment
Companionate love = intimacy + commitment
So what kind of love attracts you the most?
25 August 2008
17 August 2008
Experiencing Miracle
I had wonderful weekends, what about you?
Something amazing happened to me on sat. Have you ever experience the kind of joy when you met someone whom you lost contact with for many years ???
Few years back, my mom had an unusual reunion with her lady boss, they lost touch for almost 30 years and with great blessing, you got back together. This is a perfect example of miracle.
16 August 2008, I experienced miracle. 7 years ago, I met this inspiring lady. Jacqueline was the tour guide of my Secondary 4 Geography education trip. That was the first time and the last time I met her and I always wanted to find her, but we did not exchange contact back then, so….
7 year later, in the ordinary old ballroom, I met her. I knew it was her, I can’t be wrong. I walked up to her to ask if she is Jacqueline. She had a little recollection of me initially, “you look familiar”. We were in the same training, training to be mentor. We had a long chat, I was thanking her for the trip as it is definitely one of the factor that keep my friendship with my secondary school friends bonded for so many years.
Perhaps, this is the result of positive thoughts.
Thank you so much for this reunion. Thank you.
Something amazing happened to me on sat. Have you ever experience the kind of joy when you met someone whom you lost contact with for many years ???
Few years back, my mom had an unusual reunion with her lady boss, they lost touch for almost 30 years and with great blessing, you got back together. This is a perfect example of miracle.
16 August 2008, I experienced miracle. 7 years ago, I met this inspiring lady. Jacqueline was the tour guide of my Secondary 4 Geography education trip. That was the first time and the last time I met her and I always wanted to find her, but we did not exchange contact back then, so….
7 year later, in the ordinary old ballroom, I met her. I knew it was her, I can’t be wrong. I walked up to her to ask if she is Jacqueline. She had a little recollection of me initially, “you look familiar”. We were in the same training, training to be mentor. We had a long chat, I was thanking her for the trip as it is definitely one of the factor that keep my friendship with my secondary school friends bonded for so many years.
Perhaps, this is the result of positive thoughts.
Thank you so much for this reunion. Thank you.
16 August 2008
Rossana's New Behaviors
I woke up today with lot of thankfulness for this wonderful day that I am going to experience.
Yesterday, I encountered some unpleasant event and I had not been able to clear them for sometime until this morning I woke up. Last night before I go to sleep, I was telling myself that I will be fine and in my dream I can learnt to let go. I know anger create angry situation, therefore I pray that good thoughts will dissolve the negativities I had.
I’m in the process of positive change and I experience love wherever I go and now I’m going to create a wonderful job. I love and approve myself and I trust the process of life to bring me the best. In the infinite of life where I am, all is perfect. Each moment of my life is fresh and abundant. This is a new day, is a new me. I can think differently, act differently and all will add the wonderful me. Peace begins with me.
Some of my new behaviors:
01. 5 minutes break for 2 hours working and I’ll return to work fresh.
02. Say positive affirmation to myself every hour.
03. Go to sleep with loving thoughts every night.
04. Release people who have negative thoughts from my surrounding.
05. Thank everyone that I meet today.
06. Say a little prayer for the earth each morning.
Yesterday, I encountered some unpleasant event and I had not been able to clear them for sometime until this morning I woke up. Last night before I go to sleep, I was telling myself that I will be fine and in my dream I can learnt to let go. I know anger create angry situation, therefore I pray that good thoughts will dissolve the negativities I had.
I’m in the process of positive change and I experience love wherever I go and now I’m going to create a wonderful job. I love and approve myself and I trust the process of life to bring me the best. In the infinite of life where I am, all is perfect. Each moment of my life is fresh and abundant. This is a new day, is a new me. I can think differently, act differently and all will add the wonderful me. Peace begins with me.
Some of my new behaviors:
01. 5 minutes break for 2 hours working and I’ll return to work fresh.
02. Say positive affirmation to myself every hour.
03. Go to sleep with loving thoughts every night.
04. Release people who have negative thoughts from my surrounding.
05. Thank everyone that I meet today.
06. Say a little prayer for the earth each morning.
13 August 2008
My letter to my universal
Dear Universal
May you grant me power thoughts.
Let the thoughts that I have shape me into a stronger and better someone.
Free me from any stuck situation and dissolve all the negative thoughts. Let the positive thoughts fertilize the garden in my life. Fill my life with joy and peace in this journey.
I know my body can heal itself. My willingness to forgive will heal me.
I trust my inner wisdom and the inner place in me will guide me. This is the place where my inner self provide me with the answer to my own questions.
Even if I do not how to forgive I know that I can learn to forgive and you will help me. This forgiveness will be a gift from you. I thank you for this richness day that you grant me. The higher instinct and my heart will make peace with you. Together we work wonder.
The rhythm and flow in life that I’m with you will bring me the highest growth.
My perfect living space will bring my love. I thank you for the gift for today, the love for today. Fill my home, my work place to everywhere I go with all my needs. Let each moment be a wonderful experiences.
What I believe will become true for me and I trust that my life will get better all the time. I am willing to let go and serve my life with any positive ways. My new thoughts will always be positive and fulfilling. My thoughts that shape will world will be friendly, comfortable, loving, laughing and fantastic thoughts.
If there is any unloving thought, I quickly change it to a loving thoughts and I know you will support me. I have unlimited choice with my thoughts and there is no blames, therefore I chose thoughts that are useful for me. I release the need to blame anyone. I will do the best to let go and only the good will come.
I release all the things that cloud my vision. I will see the world with compassion and I know I’ll be safe with you. All lives love and will support me. I breathe in love and life supports me with all good. I am whole and complete. All is Well.
In any situation when I experience challenges, I immediate tell myself, in this situation only good will come, and all is well and soon I know you will get me to the best situation. I will go beyond and fears and limitation. It is my mind that will create my own reality. I am at peace with myself.
I am Loved. I love life. I love my vibrant and healthy body. I love my positive thoughts.
Today will be a great day and everyday will be.
May you grant me power thoughts.
Let the thoughts that I have shape me into a stronger and better someone.
Free me from any stuck situation and dissolve all the negative thoughts. Let the positive thoughts fertilize the garden in my life. Fill my life with joy and peace in this journey.
I know my body can heal itself. My willingness to forgive will heal me.
I trust my inner wisdom and the inner place in me will guide me. This is the place where my inner self provide me with the answer to my own questions.
Even if I do not how to forgive I know that I can learn to forgive and you will help me. This forgiveness will be a gift from you. I thank you for this richness day that you grant me. The higher instinct and my heart will make peace with you. Together we work wonder.
The rhythm and flow in life that I’m with you will bring me the highest growth.
My perfect living space will bring my love. I thank you for the gift for today, the love for today. Fill my home, my work place to everywhere I go with all my needs. Let each moment be a wonderful experiences.
What I believe will become true for me and I trust that my life will get better all the time. I am willing to let go and serve my life with any positive ways. My new thoughts will always be positive and fulfilling. My thoughts that shape will world will be friendly, comfortable, loving, laughing and fantastic thoughts.
If there is any unloving thought, I quickly change it to a loving thoughts and I know you will support me. I have unlimited choice with my thoughts and there is no blames, therefore I chose thoughts that are useful for me. I release the need to blame anyone. I will do the best to let go and only the good will come.
I release all the things that cloud my vision. I will see the world with compassion and I know I’ll be safe with you. All lives love and will support me. I breathe in love and life supports me with all good. I am whole and complete. All is Well.
In any situation when I experience challenges, I immediate tell myself, in this situation only good will come, and all is well and soon I know you will get me to the best situation. I will go beyond and fears and limitation. It is my mind that will create my own reality. I am at peace with myself.
I am Loved. I love life. I love my vibrant and healthy body. I love my positive thoughts.
Today will be a great day and everyday will be.
04 August 2008
When Relationship Fails....
Today I was talking to a very close friend of mine. She was facing with some difficulties in her relationship and she decided to break up. She said this: many people would think that it is hard and cruel thing for the party that is receiving the news, but no one would spare a thought for the one who ask for break up. It could be even tougher than receiving the news.
I may not be a relationship expert, but I can feel her frustration in the relationship. If I were to be in her shoes, my heart would have died long ago. There were times that she tried to talk their issues but over the year things did not work out.
I remember that some time ago when I had a lot of cases to handle in which most of they are children from broken families. I asked myself this that why relationship in the past seem to last longer compare to now. I guess the key to successful relationship is this one word: COMMITMENT.
In the past, most of the people were just match-make and they manage to live together for long, is because of the commitment they had. I remembered that my grandparents used to fight a lot when I was younger, and according to my aunties, they were worst before I was born, and now they are still together. There is no such thing as divorce or giving up in the relationship. But today, look at the society! I think in every 4 out of 10 children, they parents are divorced or separated.
What has gotten into the mindset of people in this era? Is it that we have more choices now? I can’t answer for other people, but I know that I will have the uncertainties in making decision. Part of me tells me that I need to hang on, perhaps things might work out, another part of me tells me that if I would have let go, probably we will be better.
My relationship philosophy is that, if it is meant to be, no matter what it will happen.
Everything happens for a purpose and a reason. In my whole entire life, I choose to believe that we are either her to learn our lesson or for other to learn our lesson or perhaps both. The ONE up there shall decide then. Take control of what is controllable and let the rest fall in place itself.
Maybe this is a lesson for us to learn or maybe this is the way you get on with life. Whatever it is, I sincerely wish you all the best in life. Perhaps it was difficult and unacceptable at the moment, you got to learn to deal with it. Things will keep happening to you until you have learnt the lesson. Good Luck with your upcoming. Thank you for your help past 1 year. I hope the next relationship you get into will be better.
I may not be a relationship expert, but I can feel her frustration in the relationship. If I were to be in her shoes, my heart would have died long ago. There were times that she tried to talk their issues but over the year things did not work out.
I remember that some time ago when I had a lot of cases to handle in which most of they are children from broken families. I asked myself this that why relationship in the past seem to last longer compare to now. I guess the key to successful relationship is this one word: COMMITMENT.
In the past, most of the people were just match-make and they manage to live together for long, is because of the commitment they had. I remembered that my grandparents used to fight a lot when I was younger, and according to my aunties, they were worst before I was born, and now they are still together. There is no such thing as divorce or giving up in the relationship. But today, look at the society! I think in every 4 out of 10 children, they parents are divorced or separated.
What has gotten into the mindset of people in this era? Is it that we have more choices now? I can’t answer for other people, but I know that I will have the uncertainties in making decision. Part of me tells me that I need to hang on, perhaps things might work out, another part of me tells me that if I would have let go, probably we will be better.
My relationship philosophy is that, if it is meant to be, no matter what it will happen.
Everything happens for a purpose and a reason. In my whole entire life, I choose to believe that we are either her to learn our lesson or for other to learn our lesson or perhaps both. The ONE up there shall decide then. Take control of what is controllable and let the rest fall in place itself.
Maybe this is a lesson for us to learn or maybe this is the way you get on with life. Whatever it is, I sincerely wish you all the best in life. Perhaps it was difficult and unacceptable at the moment, you got to learn to deal with it. Things will keep happening to you until you have learnt the lesson. Good Luck with your upcoming. Thank you for your help past 1 year. I hope the next relationship you get into will be better.
03 August 2008
Love is what makes you smile when you are tired
Back to this familiar place, I could hear the banging and shouting from the second floor, from the ground level. It was thunder loud as if the door was going to give way any time. I am not surprise if there were blood all over the places. As I was making my way to my therapy room, I was hopping that he is not the one in the Time-Out room.
Thank God! Is not him, this time round, is a new comer. He has been in Time-Out room since Saturday. Gosh, is like coming to 1 week.
It was nap time when I arrived at home, so he was still sleeping. I could only see him after nap and after tea time. I joined him for tea time, today is a shopping day. I’m glad he got some allowance this week, which means that he behaved. While in the lift, he threw tantrum and hit his sister (which I’m not sure if he know that was his sister – not sure if that was selective memory).
One tight slap on his sister’s face right in front of me, stunned for a moment. Lucky one of the nurse was with me in the life. Then she shouted at him, and the whole saga start. He sat down in the lift, hitting his head again the metal bar, banging his fits on the sides, lying on the floor and tons of vulgarity. We ended up shouting at one another. And since time-out room was not an option, I had no choice but to isolate him in Physiotherapy room. Both of us were inside and he started to throw the trampoline, the mats and chairs. There was no way I could get some sense to him. He continued to protest by taking off all his clothes. At my wits, I called for help. Thank God, a nurse was just walking by.. she came in and commanded him to behave, and then she used the golden word “TIE”.
Ok. As much I do not want to see him in such a state… I had no choice. There must be some ways that we communicate and he has to learn!
Finally, got him to put on his clothes and he sat down. Well, in the little reward system that I pull off. Food à since he can’t live without.
The little pack of biscuit that did wonders for me. I did my best to explain to him. Honestly speaking, I want to help him but he needs to do his part.. I guess he felt my sincerity and I knew that was our connecting point. 1 hour of tough session.. but it just so fulfilling that at least we start off somewhere.
The most rewarding part was that when I was about to leave my office, he stood outside waiting. I thought what’s next.. to my surprise, he held my hand and walked me down to the ground floor. As we are walking down, I reinforce to him my intentions, he seems to understand. I concluded that working with them is all about sincerity, they can feel us and they know if we are really there for them. The unconditional care and love for them could be the most therapeutic factor. At the end of the day, the smile that they carry with them is the most rewarding gift. Just like the saying: Love is what makes you smile when you are tired. I just hope that next week will be a better week for us.
Thank God! Is not him, this time round, is a new comer. He has been in Time-Out room since Saturday. Gosh, is like coming to 1 week.
It was nap time when I arrived at home, so he was still sleeping. I could only see him after nap and after tea time. I joined him for tea time, today is a shopping day. I’m glad he got some allowance this week, which means that he behaved. While in the lift, he threw tantrum and hit his sister (which I’m not sure if he know that was his sister – not sure if that was selective memory).
One tight slap on his sister’s face right in front of me, stunned for a moment. Lucky one of the nurse was with me in the life. Then she shouted at him, and the whole saga start. He sat down in the lift, hitting his head again the metal bar, banging his fits on the sides, lying on the floor and tons of vulgarity. We ended up shouting at one another. And since time-out room was not an option, I had no choice but to isolate him in Physiotherapy room. Both of us were inside and he started to throw the trampoline, the mats and chairs. There was no way I could get some sense to him. He continued to protest by taking off all his clothes. At my wits, I called for help. Thank God, a nurse was just walking by.. she came in and commanded him to behave, and then she used the golden word “TIE”.
Ok. As much I do not want to see him in such a state… I had no choice. There must be some ways that we communicate and he has to learn!
Finally, got him to put on his clothes and he sat down. Well, in the little reward system that I pull off. Food à since he can’t live without.
The little pack of biscuit that did wonders for me. I did my best to explain to him. Honestly speaking, I want to help him but he needs to do his part.. I guess he felt my sincerity and I knew that was our connecting point. 1 hour of tough session.. but it just so fulfilling that at least we start off somewhere.
The most rewarding part was that when I was about to leave my office, he stood outside waiting. I thought what’s next.. to my surprise, he held my hand and walked me down to the ground floor. As we are walking down, I reinforce to him my intentions, he seems to understand. I concluded that working with them is all about sincerity, they can feel us and they know if we are really there for them. The unconditional care and love for them could be the most therapeutic factor. At the end of the day, the smile that they carry with them is the most rewarding gift. Just like the saying: Love is what makes you smile when you are tired. I just hope that next week will be a better week for us.
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